9 Signs of A Superficial Relationship

Gay couple reading on the bed.

People get into relationships for different reasons. Some people need a bit of physical intimacy now and then. Other people are in it to share experiences with a lover. And still, some others crave deep interaction with another person; a partner till the end.

A superficial relationship won’t serve you if you’re looking for commitment and a deeper connection. It can leave you feeling as though you’re wasting all your time. But how do you know if your relationship is superficial? Keep reading to find out.

What Is a Superficial Relationship?

Superficiality means something is surface level. When you’re in a superficial relationship, the connection with your partner is only skin deep. A superficial relationship can also imply a relationship is short-term. The partners are together because of physical attraction or how the relationship looks to others, and when they’re tired, they move on.

For some people, this arrangement is convenient. We aren’t all wired to desire the same depth and commitment in our relationships. But if you’re searching for deeper meaning, it can leave you hollow. And that’s understandable.

What Are the Signs of a Superficial Relationship?

You might still have some curiosity about superficial relationships. How can you tell if you are in one? What happens in a relationship to let you know things aren’t deep enough? That’s why we’re here; to give you some telltale signs of a superficial relationship.

Couple are together only for the image.

You Only Value Physical Appearance

While physical attraction is essential for relationships, it shouldn’t be the only thing considered. Outward beauty can only last so long, after all. A deeper relationship values emotional intimacy, love, and care over physical attraction. If you and your partner only ever think about your physical attributes in your relationship, your relationship is probably superficial.

You’re Together for the Image

A genuine relationship should help build you up and make you secure. It shouldn’t just convey an illusion of security and commitment. But this is the case with certain relationships. Both parties have a good appearance at events and on social media, and they value this image highly. Whenever you probe beneath the surface, you find an inconsistent connection between them.

This false arrangement may seem familiar to you if your relationship is superficial. Consider how you and your partner feel about each other. If you sense yourself valuing the relationship for its public looks, it isn’t as deep as you want it.

You Share Only Physical Intimacy

An incredible sex life usually indicates a well-functioning relationship. But if great sex is all that works in the relationship, that’s a bad sign. Intimacy in relationships involves a certain level of openness and vulnerability. You can communicate your fears and misgivings and trust the other person to understand.

View the level of intimacy you share in your relationship. You can tell your relationship is superficial if you’re only intimate at a physical and sexual level.

You Don’t Have Meaningful Communication

Communication is integral in maintaining bonds. And by communication, we don’t mean shallow discussions about the weather and what to eat. We refer to in-depth conversations about life, your careers, and everything else. If you find it hard to delve deep into conversation, your relationship might be surface-level.

Couple's ideologies clash.

You Don’t Discuss Plans for the Future

Couples with plans for longevity need to talk about the future occasionally. These conversations might cover your careers and plans for children. Naturally, in a shallow relationship, a couple won’t bring up desires for the hereafter. What is the point of such a conversation? Both partners don’t envision themselves lasting that long.

Hedging around discussions about your future is crucial to watch out for. A deep relationship will encourage you to talk about your future.

You Only Know Fragments of Them

It isn’t easy to truly know when you don’t have deep conversations with someone. Sure, you might know what they like to eat and when they sleep, but you don’t have significant knowledge of their personality. You don’t know their fears, the reasons behind them, their dreams, and their passions. Try, for a moment, to think of what you know about your partner. If you come up with little to nothing, that’s indicative of superficiality.

Your Ideologies Clash

Everyone has values and ideologies that are central to them. These values and ideologies include our spirituality, personal philosophy, and political leaning. For many people, the things they believe in are vital to them. Threaten these ideals and they flare-up. For that reason, it’s best to be in a relationship with someone whose ideologies match yours.

Now, think about your relationship. If it’s easy for you to pick out apparent ideological clashes between you and your partner, your connection isn’t as deep as you may want it to be.

Couple share only physical intimacy.

You Don’t Think About Each Other

Out of sight, out of mind, they say. But this isn’t the case for committed couples. When a couple has a powerful bond, they think about each other all the time. And in the moments when they’re apart, they’re eager to return to each other. If you’re worried you don’t think of your partner enough, that’s a sign your relationship is shallow.

You Don’t Care for Each Other’s Needs

Care and affection can indicate how deeply you and your partner are connected. The love strongly bonded partners share for each other leads them to always have the other’s best interest at heart. If one is unwell, the other goes out of their way to get them to the hospital or prepare a meal they love most. This warmth and thoughtful care are often absent in superficial relationships. You can know your relationship doesn’t run deep enough if you feel uncared for or neglected.


After reading through all the signs we’ve laid out, you might be able to spot some familiar patterns. This discovery might get you down, but it’s not the end.

Perhaps this is the ideal time to speak with your partner about your concerns. A well-thought-out conversation might iron out whatever kinks exist between both of you. If the discussion doesn’t go well, it may be time to end the relationship before you get hurt.

Remember to check out our website if you have any questions about love and relationships. We have regular updates with advice on the world of dating.


How do you avoid superficial relationships?

The best way to avoid a superficial relationship is by being honest about your intentions. Let your partner know the kind of commitment you want and how important it is.

How do you know if your relationship is shallow?

An excellent way to identify your relationship's depth is by observing how much you know about yourselves. Strongly bonded partners share more than just a vague physical and sexual connection.

What is a deep relationship?

A deep relationship is one where both partners share a meaningful connection. They have physical, emotional, and intellectual intimacy and are committed to growing in love and mutual respect.

What is an intimacy to a man?

It's not just about sex, though that is certainly a part of it. Intimacy is about being seen, known, and understood at the deepest level. It's about feeling safe enough to be vulnerable and sharing your innermost thoughts, hopes, and fears.

What makes a man feel connected to a woman?

A man feels connected to a woman when he can be around her and share his thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or rejection when he feels she truly understands and accepts him.

What words make a man fall in love?

There is no definitive answer, but some words that may make a man fall in love are "acceptance," "trust," and "admiration." These words convey a deep level of understanding, respect, and appreciation.

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