Why Self-Esteem is Important for Relationships?

Girl on a pink background with a golden crown on her head.

Self-esteem is a crucial aspect of our lives as humans, but what is self-esteem? Self-esteem refers to how much you value yourself as a person, your estimation of your worth as an individual.

It's easy to tell individuals with different levels of self-esteem apart from watching how they behave. This is because how you perceive yourself is an essential factor in how you present yourself. Low self-esteem makes people pessimistic, afraid of trying new things, and unable to accept praise or compliments.

Low self-esteem is problematic in individuals, but even more so when it comes to relationships. Individuals with low self-esteem have challenges forming and maintaining healthy relationships.

Signs Of Low Self Esteem

Signs of low self-esteem in a woman may differ from signs of low self-esteem in a man, but what they do have in common are:

1. Negative thoughts

People with low self-esteem tend to see themselves in the worst light possible. And they also expect everyone else to see them as they see themselves.

2. Lack of self-confidence

People with low self-esteem have little confidence in themselves or their abilities. This usually means they constantly feel like their life is beyond their control. This is because they do not feel confident enough to act in ways that would help them take control of their lives.

3. Feelings of inadequacy

Lack of self-esteem makes people think they can't measure up to expectations. This could be with regards to school, their career, or life in general.

The girl refuses a kiss.

4. Trouble asking for help

Someone with low self-esteem can find it challenging to ask for and accept much-needed support. This is partly because the person usually doesn't believe they deserve help. But also, it could be that they are embarrassed by their need for help and think it's a sign of incompetence.

5. Self-hate

One of the most consistent characteristics of people with low self-esteem is intense self-dislike. They believe that they are inadequate, incompetent, stupid, incapable of behaving normally, and so on. And as a result, they hate themselves so much.

Effects of Low Self-Esteem in Relationships

Good self-esteem is a boost when going into a relationship. It shows you know your worth and are unwilling to be treated carelessly. But what happens when one or both partners have low self-esteem?

One of the most common ways low self-esteem reflects in a relationship is the craving for constant validation. Someone with low self-esteem is uncertain about themselves and, by extension, the relationship. An undercurrent of doubt exists in the person's mind and manifests as a constant need for reassurance from the partner. This can take a toll on the partner and destroy the relationship.

Low self-esteem can also cause a person to be distant in relationships. Feelings of inadequacy can show up as a lack of communication.

Low self-esteem can also leave a person open to abuse. They cannot see their self-worth and instead believe that getting castigated and mistreated is what they deserve.

A couple in love dancing in the woods.

Why Self Esteem is Important in Relationships

Relationships are tough but dating someone with low self-esteem is even more challenging. This is because a healthy relationship requires both partners to be working on improving themselves and helping each other improve. Low self-esteem makes both of these things difficult.

In a healthy relationship where both parties recognize their self-worth, they work together to positively and actively contribute to one another's growth and development.

How to improve self-esteem in relationships

Suppose your partner is a little low on self-love and undervalues themselves. In that case, this is an opportunity to lend a helping hand. You can do that by:

  • Being kind: Don't be hard on them and overly critical. Your partner already speaks harshly to themselves; extend some grace to them.
  • Being patient: Years of negative reinforcement can't be undone in a day. Understand your partner is fighting a personal battle to overcome past faults.
  • Giving honest praise and compliments: Have they done something you like? Don't be shy to let them know! Every good word you pass to them builds up their self-esteem.
  • Seek counselling or therapy: It might be expensive, but it's usually worth it!


A good sense of self-esteem must be cultivated in individuals seeking romantic relationships. It is also definitely possible to improve your self-esteem. So, suppose all the signs point to low self-esteem as the reason for a relationship's problems. In that case, it is time to get some counselling or therapy.

If this has been helpful in any way, be sure to hang around here as we'd be back with more content on new information in the dating world.


How do I boost my self-esteem?

The first place to begin is by being kind to yourself. Don't pass harsh judgment because of a few screw-ups. Also, do things you enjoy and give yourself a reward when you succeed.

What does low self-esteem mean?

Low self-esteem is a situation where someone feels inadequate and lacks confidence in themselves and their abilities. It can hamper performance at work, in school, and their career.

Will getting into a relationship improve my self-esteem?

Well, yes and no. If you get a loving and caring partner, they can teach you to love yourself more, but being with someone abusive can quickly erode what little self-confidence you have. Your best bet is to build your self-esteem from within.

How can self-esteem affect relationships?

Self-esteem can have a profound effect on relationships. Individuals with low self-esteem may have difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships. They may also be more likely to experience conflict in their relationships.

Why is self-esteem important in communication?

Self-esteem is important in communication because it can affect how we interact with others. Low self-esteem may be less likely to communicate their needs and boundaries, leading to conflict.

How do you build someone's self-esteem?

There are many ways to build someone's self-esteem. Complimenting them, spending time with them, and engaging in positive activities together can all help to improve self-esteem.

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