How to Be Submissive in a Relationship?

Couple in a submissive relationship.

Kinks are interesting. But they can be a bit difficult to understand if that’s not your scene. The same is valid for Dominant/Submissive relationships. People get curious, wondering why anyone would want to get pushed around by another person. Why would anyone willingly do that?

The first thing to recall is that such relationships are purely consensual. If someone gets forced into it, it’s abuse! Subs will fully opt for such dynamics. They find it sexually fulfilling and find much satisfaction in it.

Curious to find out more about submissive dating, here is our submissive guide.

What is a Dom-Sub Relationship?

Though Dominant/Submissive relationships come lumped in with BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism), it doesn’t always involve whips and/or torture. A Dom/Sub relationship is one in which one person takes the role of a leader(dominant), and the other releases all control to them (submissive). And, of course, all this is done willingly.

It isn’t always all about kinky sex. These submissive rules can be confined to the bedroom or spread to all aspects of life. Partners are also free to decide if they want the roles fixed or flexible. Every relationship operates with dynamics.

Legs under a blanket.

What Does a Submissive Do in a Relationship?

In times past, the word “submissive” was left for women. They were expected to be meek and trouble-free in their relationships, giving adequate deference to husbands who lord it over them. All this was done whether the woman was into it or not.

Within the boundaries of Dom/Sub relationships, everything is consensual. The submissive can also either be male or female. Submissives enjoy being controlled and dominated. They get a certain thrill out of having someone lord it over them in their relationship. They could have strong personalities outside that relationship, but back with their partners, they are meek and easy to control.

Getting Started

Before you begin, ensure this is something you’d totally like to do. It can be harmful to get into it and find you don’t enjoy it. Read extensively and find a balance you’re comfortable with. Do you want it only in the bedroom? Do you like getting called names? Ask questions, and once you’re sure of your speed, you’re set to begin.

How to be a good submissive in a Relationship?

Now that you know you’re ready for this, you can begin. Here are some steps to kickstart this new aspect of your submissive role.

1. Speak about it with your partner

You can’t assume your partner is going to be all for it. If this type of thing thrills you, bring it up in conversation. They may be a bit reluctant to try. In that case, try to take things gradually, easing you both into it.

Communication with submissive partner.

2. Decide on the kind of submissive you want to be

There are many types of submissives. If you’ve read a lot, you’d have marked out some activities which are definite turn-ons for you. As well as some that rather disgust you. Play around with it and see what works best for you.

3. Select a safeword

This is very important. During submissive sex, it might be difficult to tell if someone is merely teasing or wants to stop. The safeword establishes a way for you both to know when someone genuinely wants out.

A quick tip: select a word that won’t usually come up in sex. You can use colors or the name of a place.

4. Use role-play as an ice-breaker

Role-play is an excellent way to separate yourself a bit if any of you are a bit shy going in. You can select roles that already come with power dynamics. Like a boss and secretary. Or a professor and student.

Submissive woman in a relationship.

5. Experiment with language

Mix in the use of honorifics to add some spice. You can call your Dom “Sir/Madam” or “Lord/Lady.” It’s okay if any of these don’t do it for you. Experiment with a few other words and see the one which fits you both the most.

6. Communicate a lot

The final point is communication. With every sex session, discuss what happened and what could have been done better. This will help you know what you can do to improve the fluidity within the relationship. It can also be an avenue to raise concerns about issues and resolve them.


While submissives are similar in wanting to be dominated, there are different ways to be submissive. Read about it, speak with your partner, and practice a bunch! You’re well on your way to adding some extra fire to your relationship.

If this was helpful for you, consider sticking around for more love and relationship advice.


What is being submissive in a relationship?

This only applied to submissive wives and their constant deference to their husbands in previous times. Now though, anyone can choose to be the submissive partner in their relationship. The meaning still stands. The submissive relinquishes all power to the dominant partner.

How does a submissive behave?

Submissives are known for letting someone else take charge. Everything else which accompanies this has to be expressly stipulated by their partners. But submissives don’t hold the reins in the relationship. But always remember it’s purely consensual.

What is the role of a submissive in a relationship?

The functions of a submissive depend solely on who they are and who they’re with. Some submissives take their responsibilities out of the bedroom. Some like to be spanked and degraded, and some just enjoy it within certain boundaries. Read about it and discuss it with your partner to establish your own roles.

How do you show submission to a man?

There are many ways to show submission to a man, but the most important thing is that you are comfortable with how you are doing it. It is also important to remember that submission is not about giving up your power but rather about sharing it with your partner.

How do I get a woman to submit?

There is no one answer to this question as each woman is different. However, some things that may help include being clear about your desires, communicating openly with your partner, and being willing to try new things.

What is an example of submission?

There are many examples of submission, but physical touch is one common way to show it. This can include things like holding hands, kissing, and hugging. It is also common to submit verbally, such as by saying "yes" or "I agree."

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